


Never Have I Ever

by Kamveeooch



Series: Orlesian Maison [1]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drinking Games, M/M, awkward phone calls, slumber parties
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-28
Updated: 2014-07-28
Packaged: 2018-02-10 18:19:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2035215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kamveeooch/pseuds/Kamveeooch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anders has gone off on a business trip for a few weeks and Fenris has become a shut in. In order to cheer him up, Isabela and Merrill throw a slumber party for him!</p><p>One thing leads to another and Fenris ends up trying to court Anders over the phone, with the help of the girls, of course.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Have I Ever

**Author's Note:**

  * For [qunari](https://archiveofourown.org/users/qunari/gifts).



> Set in a modern universe in which Anders, Fenris, Isabela, Merrill, Varric, and Aveline all live in a mansion together in Orlais after a bunch of circumstances. 
> 
> Lady Eloise is Fenris's pet wolf, and Ser Pounce is of course Anders' tabby cat!

The small elf took in a long breath, releasing it slowly. His face was buried in Anders’ pillow; body covered in one of his _Beyoncé_ shirts. He glared at his phone.

_Five more minutes._

Anders had been gone for two weeks so far on some doctor thing; Fenris hadn’t been paying attention to what it was at the time. He was more focused on ravishing his love as a going away gift.

 

The first week had been bearable enough; the elf distracting himself by playing with Pounce and Eloise. He was no more broody than the rest of the time, which came as a surprise to his housemates. Varric especially had expected him to snap and get into a tussle with Isabela after her incessant teasing, but gladly accepted the cold stare he gave her instead.

_Better than having to clean blood stains out of the carpet._

 

By the start of the second week, however, Fenris began to grow more and more distant. He spent more time in Anders’ room, only ever emerging to get something to eat or walk Lady Eloise. Merrill had tried to coax him out _once_ , but it only ended in tears.

Isabela took it upon herself to calm the broody bitch.

 

One night she kicked open his door, causing him to jump and Pounce to scurry off his lap. He scowled and tried to coax the cat out from under Lady Eloise, but he would not come. He sighed and looked up to see Isabela and Merrill, fully clad in pajamas with pillows and blankets and snacks.

“It’s sleep over time, baby!”

 

Most of the evening had been spent chit-chatting and lazily playing drinking games. Currently they were playing “Never-Have-I-Ever,” and Isabela was losing… by quite a bit.

“Never have I ever…” She thought for a moment, swaying a bit from side to side. “Damn, I can’t think of anything!” She huffed and took another shot, looking to Merrill who giggled in response.

“Never have I ever given someone a BJ!” Isabela downed a shot quickly, Fenris blushing and downing his as well. Merrill giggled again. She could tell he was glad Isabela hadn’t noticed. “Alright Fenris, your turn!”

“Pfaugh,” he grimaced, scowling at the sheets beneath him. What had he never done that one of them probably had?

“Never have I ever had phone sex.”

“ _Whaaaaaaat?!_ ” Isabela’s mouth dropped before she regained herself, taking a shot. She shook her head. “No. This is Un. Ac. Cep. Ta. Ble. We are calling Anders _right now!_ ” She reached for Fenris’s phone, easily unlocking it.

“Wh- No!” The elf tried to grab his phone, but was too drunk to perform such a task without almost spilling all the vodka. Thankfully, Merrill was nearly sober and balanced him.

“Oh come on, sweet thing! You know you want too!” She cooed and shook his phone, Anders’ contact page up. His name was simply Anders with a cat emoji with hearts for eyes and another making a kissing face after it. The mage himself had done that, and given him a matching picture of himself making a rather overexcited kissy face for his photo. Fenris was too drunk to care at this point, staring longingly at the horrid photo Anders had chosen for his contact picture.

“What would you have me say?” He asked, grabbing the phone from her.

“Oh, don’t worry! We’ll be sure to help you out the whole way, right Kitten?” Merrill nodded in agreement, pouring herself another shot for the hell of it. Sighing, the other elf dialed his boyfriend and glared at the two as he held the phone to his pointed ear.

 _“Hello?”_ A tired voice crackled on the other end. Fenris whimpered a bit just hearing his voice again. Sure, they had video chatted every night, but the elf wasn’t used to going so long without hearing his voice nearly every minute.

“Erhm, hello, love,” Fenris stuttered, Merrill waving her hand to try and coax him to utter even a simple greeting. He heard the mage on the other end of the phone line laugh brightly.

 _“Is something the matter? You should be asleep; it’s nearly 3 AM where you are!”_ Isabela rolled her eyes and mouthed what Fenris should say. He followed her lead, biting his lip before he spoke.

“I was just… missing you?” He wasn’t quite sure what Isabela was trying to spit out. He pressed on anyway. “It is hard to sleep… without you here.” There was some shuffling on the other end and a _click_. Anders was probably moving to a more private area.

 _“Oh? I’m sorry, Fenris. I’ll be home next week!”_ Fenris slapped a hand onto his face, sliding it down slowly. This was going _horridly._

“Ask him what he’s wearing!” Isabela whispered, Merrill giggling softly beside her.

“Erhm… Anders?”

_“Yes, love?”_

“What… are you wearing?” He heard Anders chuckle nervously.

 _“Blood-stained scrubs.”_ Merrill had to cover her face in a pillow to keep from laughing. _“What about you?”_

“Uhrm…” Isabela made a shooing motion at him, glaring. He sighed and gave in, complying. “Y- Your Beyoncé shirt.” There was a sharp intake of breath from the other end.

 _“Is… Is that all?”_ Fenris looked at Isabela, who nodded her head vigorously, even though it wasn’t true.

“Y- Yes,” Fenris managed, face lighting up a bright red. Anders _groaned_ in his ear, making the elf shift his position.

 _“Fenris, love. I’m- I’m at work right now. Can… Can you call back in an hour?”_ Fenris nodded instantly, then glared when he realized Anders couldn’t see him.

“Of course. I’ll talk to you then, Anders…” He glanced at the two girls and turned his head, whispering an “I love you,” into the phone hastily before hanging up.

He placed his phone on the nightstand and looked back at the two girls sitting in his bed, eyebrows raised.

“Oh-ho-ho! We’ll be sure to leave you in an hour,” Isabela winked as Merrill pulled out the now empty bottle of vodka.

“Until then; _‘Truth or Dare’_!” Fenris groaned, running a hand through his hair.

 

Would this hour never end?


End file.
